IgnitionInStars

      From the time I was a teen my mother always told me, "You're so mature for your age." It always made me wonder. Was that why I'd rather sit inside and read novels that dealt with difficult topics, where I'd never have to talk and could just get lost in someone else's words while I became smarter? Is that why I spent hours trying to pen my life in snippets of poetry? Was it that everyone I became friends with weren't yet to my level of maturity? Or, was it simply because Cerebral Palsy was a blessing in disguise allowing my perspective on life to be more thought out, silently. My father showed me that even parents could still be trapped

yes, I sin; given abound grace - - - wait. longing failed, sprouting rapture indecency fearsome, am I: taken by humbly spoken I have- not fully, no-never solidarity, a blind pressed still mockery hear- devoutly facing northward I stammer, liv-ing, God. worth- self less ly- depravity under stood, echoes shameless- born body, an eyes sympathy outside fracture, burned in summer, how they see-. tiding, sea. compensation, for the mystery eluding me.

mother - why must vacancy show such a disheartened soul, why do I- no, don't go, let agony grow; in a wetland for shattered bones. beyond skin, a love how deep is the spirit, a forgiving spring know thyself - bent, broken willingly, you dare never say, hiding sorrow; two knees upon world's fruitless grave, repent sufferer--- shall I bear burden, sun turning back undiscerning, just so.

demons hold, maternal upon trembling thoughts--ripples a river of faults, every skipped; sinking sunken stone. pruned I shrivel, meager with strength hope, don't you see shores wither flowers- I am a stem fallen prey, pained to this uncouth world.

I yearn for know- ledge to find love's expanse, bluest skies only reflect tears adamancy has forbidden I cry. understated whispers lend doubts an open door, collection of memories-- harboring with persistence; a presence I've yet to proclaim in the drought, my ever present dawning.

I am afraid of sincerity, a child lost in endless dark. fluttering lids, a promise of yesterday's dream lingers without thought world, you leave an indifference upon the wake of every dawn, while remnants--voiceless fire sing of a burning yet to be profound.

sadness-- I no longer wish to remain where your melancholy whispers, enchant. oh, devil how you have thee pegged. within a voice clarity begs- never again shall I--refrain.

I found the sun, beneath my feet- coming undone. here, I am, a single, thoughtful smile this heart is extinguished- one. two. -- proclamations: every girl is fair gain even I, burrowing my soul in such shame, less belief blinding these eyes no longer a seeker; losing game.

peace-- silence ashamed to be defined.